isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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