So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Randomize
