I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
