Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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