and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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