I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
