Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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