break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
