what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
