Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
