You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
