I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize