He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
we're so committed to being not committed
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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