Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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