You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.