This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.