I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
