6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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