Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
