I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
