No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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