You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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