Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
