You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
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