That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
