You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
