I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
