I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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