It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
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Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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