on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
