toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
