the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
