Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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