I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
