Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Randomize
