if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
