And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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