Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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