I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
