thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
