If i come over, it means nothing
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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