i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
