she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize