There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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