I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
