Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Too much gin, very little bucket
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
