This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
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we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
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Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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