do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
