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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
it wasn't lemon gatorade
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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