i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
