if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
This baby is an asshole
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
