I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
