K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
He passed out mid-signature
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
