I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
