dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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