look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
