Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
