is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
19 Parents Admit the Lies They’ve Told Their Children
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
21 Worst Confessions on a First Date
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.