And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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