Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
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Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
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Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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