my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
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